Out and about

Dear Friends,

Wow, thank you for your great response to my book! Today, Tara and I are out in North Park, one of my favorite neighborhoods in San Diego. We love the restaurants and coffee shops here! And I love being out and about like any other adult. I love wearing my blazer and cool hat, and being a part of the energy of urban(ish) areas, and not being stuck at home or a glorified daycare program. I am so lucky and grateful that Tara can be my support like this. It is so wonderful to have this access to a relatively autonomous life.

Many of my poems have been written on such outings. It is a dream to be an author, roaming and writing, and I am living it! It is not easy, and takes support and resources, but we are making it happen. We are so lucky in this and I hope it becomes more and more accessible for us nonspeakers in the future!

Your Friend,

Danny

Waves and Wind and We – Order now!

Dear Friends,

It is now up for sale! Waves and Wind and We is my heartfelt book of poems. I am so proud to present it to you, and so eager for it to touch other lives. Please order if you can, and Unrestricted Interest is also offering a digital download for a lower price. I so appreciate anyone supporting my work!

This is my first book, and it is so meaningful to me. It is a compilation of poems on grief, love, and growth, based on my mourning my dad and at the same time blossoming in communication. I hope these poems resonate with you!

Order hard copy from me: https://www.dannywithwordsstore.com/shop/p/waves-and-wind-and-we


Order digital download from Unrestricted Interest (scroll down): https://www.unrestrictedinterest.com/reading/p/waves-and-wind-and-we-by-danny-whitty

Your Friend,

Danny

On Love

Dear Friends,

I had the most awful few days starting late last week. It was intense dysregulation, so overwhelming and aggressive, and it was scary. Such a letdown after three peaceful weeks. Then I asked for high CBD:THC gummies, which help calm me but also dull my mind, so I am averse to taking them unless I am desperate.

So I am calmer now, but groggy, and still recovering from it all. I am still not sure if I am better, or just dampened temporarily by the gummies. But at least I can have a break from compulsively screaming and grabbing my mom and going completely nuts. I am grateful for any break.

And today is Valentine’s Day! I don’t have a romantic love in my life yet, but I am surrounded by so much other love. And all I can say about it today is this poem that I wrote this morning. I love you all, and hope you feel loved today!

Your Friend,

Danny

In my all so difficult life

by Danny Whitty

The reality is at times so

Sharp cutting slicing

Cross-sections of my constructed dreams

And they collapse folded on themselves

Their weight crushes me underneath

And in this heightened gravity

All that keeps me

All that saves me

All that clears the debris

And lets me start again

Is your love.

I jinxed it.

Dear Friends,

Oh no! I am so upset to share that I impulsively shaved off my majestic beard yesterday morning. I am so frustrated, not only about the temporary loss of my beard, but also about this reminder that I can’t control my body. I know my apraxia is ever present in my reality, but some things really highlight it, even if they are small instances of my rogue body.

I am so sad. I know it will grow back. But I am so disappointed that my impulsive actions have ruined yet one more thing. I will be okay soon, but just feel so down in the moment.

I am so wanting to introduce you to my alter selves: there is me who is my core self, then Danny Body who is a bit disconnected from my core self, and then Arnold who is the impulsive and sometimes wild and also colorful and creative being who hijacks Danny Body. It is a bit more complex than that, and not necessarily a recommended way to view apraxia, but it is how I visualize and explain it to my family. Danny Body seemed okay on the surface after Arnold had him shave, but core me was so upset. It is so strange to be upset and not be able to show it.

Shay had tried to hide my razor after Tara had helped me avoid impulsively shaving a couple of days before. But Arnold is very determined and persistent, and it is hard to hide things from him. My impulses are so hard to redirect and unlearn. My support team tries so hard to help with this, but it is a difficult and delicate task.

I will be fine soon. Even just writing this made me feel better! I am too embarrassed to post my updated photo yet, though. I appreciate you reading and understanding!

Your Friend,

Danny

My Beard

Dear Friends,

You may have noticed that I am growing out my beard. It is my first time really doing it! Wow, I love it. I love feeling it when I am thinking, like an old wise man. I love seeing it in the mirror, and admiring its lush growth. I love having a warm chin!

But I don’t know how to groom a beard. And it makes me really miss my dad. And I don’t know that going to a barber is a good idea, though I am now okay with hair stylists cutting my hair. And my mom and sisters are understandably not so familiar with this!

Luckily, my friend Shay could help me out. He showed me how to clean up my cheeks, and then he and Tara took turns doing it. And Tara managed to quickly stop my impulse to start shaving the actual beard off, which would have made me so sad and frustrated if unchecked. And I feel so dapper now!

This ability to choose and communicate my preferences is so huge to me. It might seem insignificant, but it is so important to have autonomy over my appearance. What I wear, how my hair is cut, what my facial hair situation is – I am so appreciating having a voice on all this. And I am so grateful to have a support team that respects my wishes. And it is so empowering!

Your bearded friend,

Danny

Announcing My New Shop!

Dear Friends,

I am beyond thrilled to announce that my online shop is now open!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/DannyWithWords

I am so excited to share my poems and other creative ideas with you in this new way! It is so meaningful also because my opportunities for earning money are limited, and even though I don’t anticipate earning much from this shop, it is still a step toward greater agency.

So here is our Valentine’s Day crop of goodies! I am so happy with how they turned out. The timing is a bit tight, so order soon if you want it in time to share by February 14th! Of course, most of these pieces are still lovely to have year-round.

We printed 25 of each card for this pilot run. We are starting off with free shipping and gentle prices compared to similar products!

Thank you to Tara for turning my ideas into designs, and for handling the logistics. We welcome constructive feedback. We have many more ideas to share!

Please share with anyone who might like these! Thank you so much!

Your Friend,

Danny

More struggles but also more insight

Dear Friends,

At the risk of being a habitual downer, I am once again coming to you with my woes! I had a glorious and joyful Christmas, but then it all unraveled a bit in the days after. I was so compulsive and felt like my body and mind were on hyperdrive. I couldn’t sleep for days. I could barely sit still unless I was actively engaged in an activity, and I couldn’t stop shouting and stomping. My poor mom was so patient but I know it ran her down.

But this time was a bit different. For the first couple of days, I felt an underlying confidence that I was going to be okay. This is a huge step forward; I usually feel despair and such bleakness when dysregulation hits. It was such a shift toward equanimity in the storm.

To be transparent, that equanimity dissolved after the second day. I felt almost foolish to entertain the idea that I would be okay! And I once again fell to despair.

But my therapist wisely pointed out: My internal messaging was a big step forward, but perhaps too laden with expectation. I kept reassuring myself that I “will be okay”, but when I still wasn’t okay, I felt like I had failed my expectation. So she suggested that I try more neutral statements, like “I am so brave” or “this is unfair but accepting it can help”. And she helped me regain my perspective on how far I have come in the past couple of years.

I am feeling much better today. Who knows how long it will last, but I will enjoy it while I can. I am so appreciating your comments and suggestions even if I can’t reply to most of them! I hope you are all doing well, and that we all find more and more resilience!

Your Friend,

Danny

All the rain

Dear Friends,

Happy New Year!

After feeling amazing during Christmas, I have been very out of sorts for a few days. But I wanted to share this poem. It was written about days like the rainy ones we are having this week in San Diego, washing away 2022.

It is a summary of a big lesson from this last year to not be afraid of the process and unfolding of time and life. This is a lesson I will take into 2023.

Wishing you all clarity and renewal and a wonderful start to this new year!

Your Friend,
Danny

—
ALL THE RAIN, by Danny Whitty

I woke up to the tap tap tap grumble
And vague whooshing and
And this world felt smaller
Gray wrapped tight
Me wrapped tight
Washing washing washing
The debris away away away
And down the hills
And drains and roads and riverbeds
Out to the sea
And me too
Rolling and cascading without fear or anticipation
Just on my way.

My Year in Review

Dear Friends,

Wow, I can’t believe the year is coming to a close! I bet I am the only one who feels that way. I had felt very scattered for much of the year, but now I feel so proud of all I have done and so content with how the year went. This was pretty much aligned with my third year of fluency in my daily communication, and I suppose each additional year will come with more options for defining what I do. This made it harder to get a grasp of this year, but I realize that I actually did a lot and grew so much.

To help me wrap up this year, I want to share my highlights:

  • I am now able to type autonomously for meetings and short posts; I still need my main CRP with me, but it is a huge step forward!
  • I started regularly posting on Danny With Words and gained over 2,000 followers on both Facebook and Instagram; this is still small as far as influencers go, but it is massive to me who had been silent and ignored for decades.
  • My yoga practice has come a long way thanks to the guidance of Erin at Sunrise Therapies; I feel so much more in tune with my body, and my stamina and coordination have really improved!
  • I am also much more attuned to my motor skills thanks to working with Michelle Hardy on music therapy; I so love the way she has coached me, and I look forward to more growth with her!
  • I submitted a book of poems to be published by Unrestricted Interest; it should be out in early 2023!
  • I co-taught 2 short courses to Spellers, Introduction to Poetry and Art History of 20th Century Abstraction; I loved this so much, appreciated being a paid instructor at Transcending Apraxia, and look forward to much more teaching in the new year!
  • I gave my first presentation for a conference, invited by the Nurture Program, and was paid for it; it was so fulfilling to be able to share lessons from my experiences in education and to earn money from my work!
  • I travelled to Ireland to see family and meet Spellers over there; it was so meaningful and has given me life goals of writing about my heritage, travelling to Ireland as often as possible, and being part of the community of Spellers there!
  • I also travelled to Maryland and Virginia for I-ASC’s Motormorphosis; this was my first conference in person, and it was amazing to meet so many Spellers and mentors face to face!
  • I continued with my ocean sports, and kept making progress in all, and saw so many cool critters.
  • I was elected to join the Nonspeaking Leadership Council of I-ASC, which is an honor and great opportunity for learning!
  • I made great progress toward a healthier diet and a less anxious mind thanks to the support of my family and my amazing therapist; I am so proud of how I work to care for my physical and mental health.

I can’t capture the wonderful experiences of this year in a post, but there were so many gorgeous times with friends and family. I feel so lucky and so absolutely loved, and so grateful to be ever growing and learning. Thank you all for being a part of my journey this year! Wishing all a wonderful start to 2023!

Your Friend,

Danny

The Day After Christmas

Dear Friends,

Happy holidays to all who observe! We had a wonderful Christmas with beautiful outings, delicious food, fantastic gifts, and lots of relaxation. I felt so resilient and joyful, as a much needed contrast to the weeks prior. This was such a relief!

This year I bought a new living Christmas tree for my family. Our old one looked so sad and I want to plant it in the garden. The new tree was a bit hard to find – it seems living trees are not popular here now. It was also a bit expensive. But I insisted on paying for it myself. Why? Because it felt so empowering to be able to do this for my family!

I am so absolutely thrilled that I can make some money here and there with teaching and interviews and presentations. This is huge for me, who until about three years ago had no hope for any meaningful livelihood. Giving to others is one of my absolute favorite parts of being able to communicate and being able to earn some money. It is so important to me to be able to share tokens of love and appreciation!

And I also love being able to be part of shaping a memorable holiday experience. I am so proud of this tree, and each time I look at it and see our ornaments so pretty in it, I feel so full of contentment. We have rarely gotten new trees, as money is not exactly bountiful for us, but sometimes a splurge is worth it!

This was an absolutely lovely Christmas, and I am so delighted with how I felt during it! Sending warm wishes to you all, especially those impacted by the severe winter storm.

Your Friend,

Danny