Dear Friends,

Oh my goodness, it is so hot these days! Whew. I am so in slug mode. I just want to rest and relax.

Tara took a much-deserved surf trip last week. I was glad she could get away and have fun for a bit. But I always miss her, so I feel so delighted that she is back. I am so lucky in my sisters!

This heat is so tough on my body. I am not alone in this, I know. I know that many of my speller friends struggle in the heat. It makes our baseline regulation more difficult to maintain. That is on top of how much work it is to stay regulated even in more comfortable conditions. So if your speller is having a tough time in the heat, know that they are not alone.

Luckily, Tara and I have lots of ocean time planned for this week. And we are entering “summer for locals,” when schools are back in session and tourists go home and we revel in our less crowded coastlines.

Not much to share in this post, but I just wanted to drop a quick note and say hi!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so glad to share that I have had some nice ocean time lately. It had been a while since I had last snorkeled, due to conditions not being great during my windows of ocean time. Finally, we got in with our masks and snorkels twice this week! The water feels great in the heat. And I feel that my comfort in the water has leveled up.

The visibility wasn’t amazing, but it was good enough. I loved seeing so many small bat rays! They are so pretty. And I got to see a horn shark for the first time. And the usual leopard sharks and some guitarfish. Plus so many garibaldi and some rambunctious sea lions. The ocean here is truly a wonderland!

We posted a video of these excursions here on YouTube.

I am still building my skills and stamina. It is hard to keep my mouth closed around the snorkel, so water leaks in. I also move my face in ways that cause leaks in my mask. So I have work to do. But I am still able to get out there and enjoy the underwater world. That is such a gift.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

It has been a very full couple of weeks! I won’t attempt to do it all justice here. But I am all aglow from it.

The main thing is of course Motormorphosis. Wow! It gets better each year. The time with old friends and new was so heartwarming. And I love the energy of the conference! I learned a lot from my peers and was able to share a lot as well. I met so many of you! Thank you for saying hi.

Special congratulations to my dear friend Gregory C. Tino! He was chosen as this year’s Landen Bosak Advocacy Award winner. I loved being part of the team that announced his name. If you don’t follow him on Facebook or YouTube yet, I suggest you do.

It is so meaningful for me to meet any of you, but meeting young spellers who look up to me is what makes me feel the most moved. I am so processing what it means to be for them the figure that I so wish I’d had when I was a kid. It is powerful and almost overwhelming in a good way.

And then the travel part was so smooth. We were all a bit anxious about the possibility of another panic attack on the plane. We were prepared, but it was still on our minds. But thankfully, I was able to keep calm. It was a relief!

I also worked on more skills for being more independent in the hotel. The main thing was putting away my worn clothes after showering instead of leaving them on the bathroom floor for Tara or my mom to pick up. It went well! I felt pretty proud.

I enjoyed a gym session and some nice outside walks. I think I am starting to be a truly middle-aged man, because I sincerely preferred working out and quiet early nights to staying out late with friends. I loved getting into my pajamas by 8 pm on the last night! But I did have lots of fun with friends, too.

Then I came home and celebrated my 41st birthday. It was nice and relaxed! I am feeling more positive and grounded then when I turned 40.

This has been a full and happy couple of weeks! Thank you all for being with me.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Wow, the most wonderful time of the year is here! Motormorphosis is this week!

We leave tomorrow. My mom and Tara are coming with me. I am having fun packing! To think I will be surrounded by friends and allies in a welcoming and understanding environment, immersed in sharing and learning, in a couple of days is thrilling. This is truly a highlight of my year.

Please say hi if you are there. I might look overwhelmed or tired, but I will be thrilled to see you.

That is all I have to post for now. This is so exciting!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

My goodness, Motormorphosis is next week! How did that happen?

If you are not familiar: Motormorphosis is an annual conference held by I-ASC (International Association for Spelling as Communication). It is a conference for and largely by spellers. It is such a fantastic event! It is so inclusive of nonspeakers, and it is a giant reunion of friends. I can’t do it justice.

I will be part of two presentations and two panels. Whew! I am so excited for them, and for being surrounded by friends old and new. This is such a highlight of the year.

I hope to see some of you there. Please say hi if you see me!

There is still time to register!

I have been feeling so rundown with the humid heat we have been having here. Ick! But I am perking up as Motormorphosis gets closer.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Tara’s birthday is this week! I want to celebrate her on here a bit.

I am so lucky to have an older sister like her. She is a truly talented, smart, and kind person, almost too compassionate at times, but also super funny and salty at times. She is so thoughtful and always eager to learn and grow. She is fierce as an ally, yet also so gentle and understanding.

The things she has done in her life could fill books. And she could write those books, because she is a beautiful writer. That is one of her neglected dreams: to be a writer. But she has spent much more time supporting and promoting my writing than tending to hers.

She is totally juggling too much now. I am encouraging her to take guilt-free time to reflect on how to make her life less overloaded. She is so driven to make the world better with her efforts, and she is doing so, but she is pulled in too many directions. I am lucky that many of those directions are related to my endeavors. But I want her to have more space for her own stuff, too.

The work that I do is impossible without her. The life I have now is because she drastically changed hers. The hope I have for my future is due to her. I struggled to write this post because I cannot capture in words all that she is to me.

I am so proud of her!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Announcing a new episode of All Our Brave Hearts! I am so happy to share some of my thoughts about being “famous!” It is such a change from being silent and overlooked. I am grateful for it, but it is also a bit strange to get used to.

There are so many spellers now in the public eye. This is exciting! But I suspect we all are needing to adjust to a new level of visibility.

You can listen or read to the conversation here, or listen anywhere you get your podcasts!

Thank you for being fans of my work! This is so important to me. To reach thousands of people with my words is a privilege. I hope you enjoy this episode!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am having a nice time these days. I feel pretty calm and happy. And it feels so good to soak it up!

I am sort of behind on many plans that I am excited about. But it is all fine, because I treasure the days when I can relax. I have learned that it is worthwhile to slow down and enjoy easy days, instead of rushing to be as productive as possible when my regulation is good. There is a real pressure to do as much as I can when my body allows it. This was a strong driver of my earlier work, when I was newly fluent and eager to make up for lost time. And I did achieve a lot. I don’t regret it.

But now I see that I am able to rest more without feeling like I am wasting time. I value my downtime. I actually love just lazing.

And that makes my rest more truly restful. I relax and blissfully check out. It is so wonderful.

I have a lot of ambition. But I am learning to be more balanced about it.

This is advice to new spellers: you will feel so pulled to rush into your new life with communication. And it is so exciting! Just know that your rest is so important. And that your need for rest doesn’t make you less deserving.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am overall doing okay these days, especially compared to past years. But I am going through a span of feeling on edge. It is much more manageable than in the past. And I am so grateful that my hard work in therapy and mindfulness practice as well as figuring out how to lower my blood pressure have helped me get here. I know it will be an ongoing process of learning and calibrating over my life. But I am much more resilient than I used to be.

The other major piece to my resilience has been my family learning to better co-regulate with me. This is huge. It helps me so much. They have worked hard to unlearn misconceptions about nonspeaking autistic behavior, which society ingrained in them. They are so lovingly working on more spacious and compassionate ways of responding to my dysregulation. And that is tough, because I can be a real pain when dysregulation strikes.

I get loud and bully people into doing things or interfere with what they want to do. I stim loudly and frantically and it even drives me nuts. I also get into explosive rages and the anger is scary. And my compulsions get so intense. It is awful for everyone.

I know I can’t help most of it. This is my disability’s ugliest side, for me. And I also know it is difficult to live with. But I have also learned that there are ways to make it a bit better over time.

These days, the anger still boils over at times, the stimming gets loud and frantic, and compulsions intensify. But the frequency and magnitude and duration are significantly lower. And I am learning to feel more confident that these bouts are manageable.

I am aware that each nonspeaker is different. Our regulation profiles vary widely. But I feel that practicing true mindfulness and learning more about mental health could be so helpful to many nonspeakers and their families. This has been life-changing for me and my family.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so honored to know one of the co-founders of a great non-profit, Brothers Helping Spellers. This group focuses on fundraising to make spelling more accessible to underrepresented communities. This work is so important, and it makes a difference.

They offer scholarships to cover the costs of materials and sessions with a practitioner. This support helps families get a good start on their spelling journey. It is simple, but effective.

They are not the only scholarship fund, but I just happen to know them as friends, and I learned they need more funds. So I am encouraging anyone who has the means to donate to consider a gift to them.

Their website and donations links are here and here, or you can use the QR code in the picture below. And check them out on social media (IG, FB)!

Thank you, Brothers Helping Spellers, for helping our peers access life-changing communication!

Your Friend,

Danny