Dear Friends,

I am overall doing okay these days, especially compared to past years. But I am going through a span of feeling on edge. It is much more manageable than in the past. And I am so grateful that my hard work in therapy and mindfulness practice as well as figuring out how to lower my blood pressure have helped me get here. I know it will be an ongoing process of learning and calibrating over my life. But I am much more resilient than I used to be.

The other major piece to my resilience has been my family learning to better co-regulate with me. This is huge. It helps me so much. They have worked hard to unlearn misconceptions about nonspeaking autistic behavior, which society ingrained in them. They are so lovingly working on more spacious and compassionate ways of responding to my dysregulation. And that is tough, because I can be a real pain when dysregulation strikes.

I get loud and bully people into doing things or interfere with what they want to do. I stim loudly and frantically and it even drives me nuts. I also get into explosive rages and the anger is scary. And my compulsions get so intense. It is awful for everyone.

I know I can’t help most of it. This is my disability’s ugliest side, for me. And I also know it is difficult to live with. But I have also learned that there are ways to make it a bit better over time.

These days, the anger still boils over at times, the stimming gets loud and frantic, and compulsions intensify. But the frequency and magnitude and duration are significantly lower. And I am learning to feel more confident that these bouts are manageable.

I am aware that each nonspeaker is different. Our regulation profiles vary widely. But I feel that practicing true mindfulness and learning more about mental health could be so helpful to many nonspeakers and their families. This has been life-changing for me and my family.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so honored to know one of the co-founders of a great non-profit, Brothers Helping Spellers. This group focuses on fundraising to make spelling more accessible to underrepresented communities. This work is so important, and it makes a difference.

They offer scholarships to cover the costs of materials and sessions with a practitioner. This support helps families get a good start on their spelling journey. It is simple, but effective.

They are not the only scholarship fund, but I just happen to know them as friends, and I learned they need more funds. So I am encouraging anyone who has the means to donate to consider a gift to them.

Their website and donations links are here and here, or you can use the QR code in the picture below. And check them out on social media (IG, FB)!

Thank you, Brothers Helping Spellers, for helping our peers access life-changing communication!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

It has been longer than anticipated since my last post! I came down with something, and Tara got it, too. I am all better now, and she is okay, if still tired. So here I am at long last.

So I hinted at some schemes for the summer. One is to bring together people through casual coffee hours, where people can learn more about spellers in an open and friendly environment, for adults around my age. This is my idea to help people who have no direct experience with nonspeakers learn to better relate to us. It is my answer to all the “socialization training” that autistics are expected to go through. Just kidding (kind of)! But it does address an obvious need in society: better informing the public of our realities.

I believe that ignorance is a big reason why disabled lives are seen as less worthy. It is not the only reason, but it is the easiest to address. I want people my age, who would never have had a chance to interact with me even if they had attended my high school at the same time as me, to get to know me and to see that I am more than they were taught to see me as. I want to empower them to see my peers as theirs, to better know how to interact with us. And I want to give myself a chance to restore my faith in people.

This will also give me another reason to hang out in coffee shops. Which I always love.

We will plan the first one for last June. I am excited for this!

This is just one of my fun ideas for the coming months. What do you think?

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am back to social media! Tara is back from her trip, and we are ready to resume our regular work together. I am so happy she is back!

This past month was nice but of course different. I am lucky to have a support team that can keep me busy, engaged, and safe. It was nice to rest a bit from my regular routine. But I missed it, too.

I have some schemes for the summer ahead. It is all very exciting! I am looking forward to sharing more.

For now, I just want to say hi after my absence. It is good to be back!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am delighted to share a new All Our Brave Hearts episode! This one is more light-hearted than recent episodes. It is about an unanticipated little adventure my body took me on at Motormorphosis 2025.

This was fun to recount. It also has some great lessons about dignity of risk and safety in community. I think you will really enjoy it!

You can read or listen at All Our Brave Hearts on Substack, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Thank you for being listeners of this podcast. It has been a great experience on making an audio format work with my mode of communication.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Time for another All Our Brave Hearts episode! This one is a bit sad, so save it for later if now is not a good time for that. This episode is on grieving a loved one. We recorded it after losing our beloved dog Hana, but before losing Houdini. It was a tough time. It became even tougher.

But we discuss the beauty in grief. And the strength we can find in honoring the memory of our loved ones. And I share how being able to communicate helps me so much in processing grief.

You can read or listen here, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

I hope that you find this episode healing if you have experience grief recently.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Tara leaves tomorrow on a month-long trip. She is returning to Southeast Asia for her conservation work, but is hoping to connect with nonspeaking autistic people and their families in Manila in mid-May. I will miss her so very much, but I am excited for her.

This is the third year she has had an extended trip like this. So my support team knows how to handle it. My mom and I have many great activities planned. My younger sister will be able to shift her schedule to spend more time with me. And my aide is with me two days a week, and we have a nice routine. So I will not be bored or lonely!

I will not post on social media except for pre-written introductions to new All Our Brave Hearts episodes while Tara is gone. I will miss you all! But a little retreat from social media will be good in a way.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so proud to share that it has been six years since Tara and I reached fluency in spelling! It has been a very full six years. I can hardly believe all we have done in my personal life and professional, public work. This is beyond my dreams.

These years have brought me so much joy and fulfillment. They have also had challenges and sobering realizations. They have seen me bloom into an existence where I can share my words and have a positive influence. They have taught me so much about what I can do in this life.

The most precious part is that it is all because of my family. The unwavering efforts of my mom throughout my life. The way Tara changed her life to save mine. The way Eira has become even more my accomplice in fun and self-compassion in our fluency. This is because of my loved ones.

Tara is my angel. She gave up a thriving career and her dreams to make new dreams with me. I am so forever grateful for that.

We have so much more to share with the world. Thank you all for being with us! The community you all build here is such a gift.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Finally, we have a new All Our Brave Hearts episode up! This was recorded in early December. Fittingly, the topic is how time passes.

This is about how my experience of time shifts in my life. From hopeless times without communication, to busy blooming into a new chapter, to adjusting to life’s rhythm, time has passed in different ways for me.

You can read and/or listen here on Substack, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Tara tells me that we have another episode ready to go, a third one being transcribed, and a fourth one ready to edit. The drought is over!

Thank you Tara for the efforts, and thank you all for listening!

Your Friend,

Danny