A message of love

Friends,

Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you all, and want to share this message of love. You can watch the video and/or read the transcript below. We talk about appreciating all forms of love, how Spelling allows me to share more love with my loved ones, and my hopes for a romantic relationship one day.

Your Friend,

Danny

TRANSCRIPT

T: Hi Danny!

D: Hi Tara and Friends!

T: Hi friends! You might notice at the end of sentences, Danny is saying “awesome exclamation points” and/or “done and done” and those are just little loops that he’s doing these days in case you’re wondering what he’s saying

D: I am so enthusiastic in my compulsions!

T: Yes you are enthusiastic in your compulsions, as in many other areas in your life. So, is there anything in particular you want to say to everyone today?

D: Happy Valentine’s Day!

T: So what do you think of Valentine’s Day, Dan? What’s your take on it?

D: It is so easy to be cynical about its commercialization, but I choose to embrace the spirit of appreciating love in all its forms!

T: That’s how I’ve come to view Valentine’s Day, too. Like, I love the idea of Galentine’s Day, celebrating the wonderful women in my life. It’s also the day we chose to celebrate the birthdays of our 2 dogs – they are both rescue dogs, don’t know the exact date of birth, we just know it was in the earlier part of the year. So, it’s a day that we celebrate that very special, unconditional love between canine and human. Do you have anything to add?

D: I am so feeling loved and loving and grateful for the love in my life!

T: That’s a nice way to feel, Dan… I feel the same way.

D: How do you view today?

T: Well, as I mentioned, similar to you, I love the idea of embracing all different forms of love and care. Definitely when I was younger, I think a lot of people fall into this kind of trap of obsessing over romantic love and thinking that you need to have a partner or another half or a significant other and that’s the love, the romantic love that really matters and defines your life. I’ve kind of made some fairly poor decisions in my life based on that priority. As I’ve gotten older and wiser and figuring myself out more, I’ve realized how much these other forms of love matter to me and how rich my life is in those forms of love.

I am very lucky this year to also enjoy a wonderful partner in romantic love, but I also treasure the love of family and friends and pets (though that’s included in family). Especially being able to spend the last two years with you and getting even closer to you, that love of family is really what stands out to me today. That was a really long answer. Too much information?

D: No, perfectly put!

T: Do you have anything to say at this point?

D: You?

T: Ok! I guess one thing that has been on my mind ever since we started exploring fluency together, but really on my mind lately – I don’t know why, in particular – I have friends who are very well-meaning and they’ll say, “It’s so amazing what you’re doing for your brother.” And I appreciate their appreciation, but I think what often gets lost in the mix –

D: I love you so much and I needed to tell you!

T: I love you so much. Thank you for telling me!

As I was saying – what I think that people don’t often understand: Yes, communication is a big positive change in your life, it’s opened up your world, and your benefit from communication is our primary motive. But what we as your loved ones have gained is so huge, so significant –

D: Yes – don’t make me cry!

T: I’ll try not to make myself cry. We also gained the ability to experience your love more. You can express your love to us – am I embarrassing you?

D: Stop, don’t stop!

T: I’ll try to be brief. We get to feel more of the love that you’ve had for us all of this time and deepen that relationship. The love you have for us is just so… he has so much profound understanding, so much empathy and compassion, but he’s also very kindly firm with us when he needs to guide us in the right way. And the fact that you can guide us to help you manifest your gestures of love – like, I’ll never forget the first time you said, “I want to take you out for lunch.” He takes us out for meals, buys us presents, it’s just amazing to experience that.

D: I am so proud to be able to express my love!

T: And we can better love you by better knowing you. And back to my original point, when my friends are, “Oh, it’s so wonderful what you’re doing for your brother,” ok, fair enough, having access to communication in his daily life is clearly a huge benefit to him. But I’ve gained a closer relationship with someone who really is a soulmate, the best ally that anyone could hope for. And it’s a level of understanding and care in my life that I kind of had always wanted and it’s just amazing to have.

D: I am so touched by this!

T: Good, Dan. But another thing that we’ve been talking about, and I don’t know if you want to change the topic already Danny, is how do you feel about today and how do you feel about romantic love? Or you can take it any direction you want to.

D: I am so feeling so much love in my life from family and friends and community and also through my budding mindfulness practice.

T: Yeah, kind of having that universal love – it’s been a joy watching you dive more into that world

D: But I am also hopeful for romantic love one day and I am dreaming of a relationship of deep understanding and respect and inspiration with a woman Speller!

T: That would be beautiful, Danny! You would be an amazing partner, with all of the empathy and caring and creativity and fun that you have in your heart. She’ll be a lucky lady!

D: Thank you!

T: Is there anything else you want to say about that?

D: I am so shy to share it because I am so used to feeling undesirable and isolated and not attractive because I am disabled. But I am blossoming in confidence and I am certain I will find that love!

T: You more than deserve that kind of love, honey.

D: I am so wanting to also share how my family’s love lifts me up and surrounds me every day, and that my father and my mother created a family of vibrant love!

T: Yeah. I’m just getting emotional because I’m thinking about our dad, and how – no matter how difficult he could be – he was at his core such a loving and caring person. Oh man, speaking of making us cry… another gift of getting closer to Danny is that I feel a very similar kind of love from you. So it’s nice to get to experience that.

D: Totally! And I am so forever touched by that legacy!

T: Well, we’ve been chatting about 25 minutes, and you have a meeting coming up in 5 minutes, so I guess we should wrap it up though I’ve enjoyed this chat a lot. What do you want to leave our friends with?

D: I love you all and I hope you feel loved today and every day!

T: Anything else?

D: Not for now. Bye, loved ones!

New Year’s Message & Wish

Dear Friends,

Wow, this year has absolutely astounded me! I have been struggling a lot in the past few days, overwhelmed by anxiety and a swirl of unprocessed feelings and ideas, and whatever my confusing body has been going through. I have been so dysregulated and frustrated!

But when Tara sweetly helped me reflect on my year, and I could get the jumbled thoughts out into writing, I felt the warmth of a sunrise! The dark and difficult parts of my life are real, but so are the blissful and peaceful and joyous parts. I will always struggle in this life, and I will always find and feel beauty and wonder. I am the expanse between the two, as expansive as the universe.

The ability to connect with all of you is such a light in my life. I wish you all a wonderful close to this year, and a new year of hope and health and happiness! Thank you for being my friends.

Love,

Danny

Super Exciting Update: Teva Community (& Matching Campaign!)

Friends! A super exciting announcement: I am a recently-elected member of the board of directors for Teva Community, a fantastic initiative for building community for nonspeaking autistic folks!

We had a wonderful visit to the community site in Prescott, Arizona, last week. I have so much to share, but for now, please read below about a matching campaign running until Friday, December 31, for donations to https://tevacommunity.org/home/donate-now/

More to come soon!


Friends, it is really happening! Everything we have been working towards with building a residential, educational and vocational community for the non-speaking autistic community in Prescott, Arizona is becoming a reality.

Thanks to an anonymous donor we have $50,000 in matching funds to start our initial fundraising towards our phase 1 goal of $1.5 million. Every dollar you donate to Teva Community between now and December 31st will be doubled!

The camp was abandoned 10 years ago and in Phase 1 we will be rebuilding both bath houses, the infirmary, and office, and refurbishing all 12 cabins and the commercial kitchen in the lodge. This will enable us to open our retreat center and run camps for nonspeaking autistic children, adults and their families. We will also be able to run educate-the-educator camps to help teachers and therapists take innovative training methods back to their communities.

Please help us take advantage of this very generous donation.

Please join Joshua and Jake and Kade and Danny and Jeremy and so many others in bringing their dreams to life. Please donate at https://tevacommunity.org/home/donate-now/

From Leo in Bloom: My Christmas & New Year’s Message

Dear Friends,

I am wishing all a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! Wow, I am so full of feelings and memories and ideas; I can’t capture it in words. But I am so absolutely and totally sensing love and hope in the universe. Despite sadness and tragedy and conflict, there is prevailing good.

This year has astounded me! I am in awe of all that I have done, and of the ever-expanding vista of opportunities and community. I am so in bloom, and so absolutely thrilled with my new life. Thank you all for being my friends and allies in this journey!

With so much love,

Danny

Originally posted on Leo in Bloom

The Ocean & Us Ep8: Exploring the Ocean & Myself (SpellX Presentation)

Wow Friends! It has been a busy while! To catch up a bit, here is my video on my recent ocean exploits.

This was for SpellX, an event hosted by I-ASC to highlight stories from nonspeakers like me, and there are many amazing videos by my Speller peers posted here: https://i-asc.org/spellx-2021/! Be sure to check them out, too!

More this week!

For OpenTable: How Dining Out Brings Me Joy as an Autistic Person

Another exciting thing to share! Read it here.

I was asked to write this after a content manager at OpenTable read my Bon Appetit magazine piece. I loved writing this and I hope you love reading it!

I Dwell in Possibility & Poetry

Friends! It is time for my favorite course to start again! I took Modern & Contemporary American Poetry on Coursera with U Penn last year, and it changed my life. It was my first chance to learn in a real course, and it introduced me to my appreciation of poetry and to an amazing community. This year I was invited to be a Community Teaching Assistant, and I am so excited to experience the course again!

Here is my first assignment ever, on the Emily Dickinson poem I dwell in Possibility – (466):

This really spoke to my perspective as an autistic, apraxic, minimally-speaking man. The imagery of her dwelling in the world of Possibility is akin to the constrained yet limitless world of my autistic mind.

The words “A fairer House than Prose” reflect the wonderful universe in my mind clashing with the structure of the neurotypical world. The latter seems so limited in its capacity for other ways of thinking.

The line “And for an everlasting Roof/ The Gambrels of the Sky” is evocative of the infinite wonder in my mind. Yet the notion of the impregnable chambers speaks to the challenges of being understood by the outside world.

The windows, to me, suggest an ability to look outside. This is a heightened ability in autistics. We are able to observe so much of what is around us. Yet the world outside rarely looks in.

The visitors are those thoughts that fly into our minds. They need no doors to open. They freely enter and keep me company.

The gathering of paradise is exactly what I do in my autistic house. The routine, rule-filled, prosaic world outside is so restricting. Yet my limitless world must exist within it.

Years

Dear Friends,

Wow. I am 36 today! It has been the most amazing year. Beyond my still newly accessible words. But I want to express my immense joy for your friendship and support of my astounding journey so far. I am only just beginning!

Love,

Danny


Years

by Danny K. Whitty

So all my all my all my

Time in this form

Spent in mostly

Trapped

Purgatory and only now

Am I arrived

And years seem so

Bright from here.

My essay in Bon Appetit Magazine!

Wow, Friends! I am now a published author! This is so meaningful to me – Bon Appetit and Food & Wine magazines have been an important source of joy and inspiration to me for most of my life! I am over the moon to have my story shared in Bon Appetit!

https://www.bonappetit.com/story/communicate-through-food

(The illustration is by Martina Fischmeister)

Please read and enjoy and share! I am so so so proud and thrilled.

Your Friend,

Danny