Being scary

Dear Friends,

I was recently part of a meeting to plan a pool party at a hotel. This was mainly for us Spellers. Someone mentioned a concern about other hotel guests being there. In the moment, I joked: “We can scare them away!”

I could sense Tara’s concern about how this statement could be triggering to my peers. We are all familiar with the feeling of being seen as scary or weird (not the fun and funky kind of weird) or unpleasant to be around. Stares and judgement and derision and disgust. It is so part of our lives.

But part of me loved the idea of us turning the tables. Of power in numbers. Of us not being made uncomfortable because of someone else’s ignorance. Of being free to enjoy ourselves.

It is not that I don’t care about other people. I actually do want to respect all and coexist in harmony. But I feel that I have been made to feel ashamed of my disability for too long. I am constantly trying to not be disruptive. Being disruptive is probably more stressful to me than to any bystander. And if we are constantly trying our best, then other folks can try harder to be more understanding.

I hope we don’t actually scare anyone. But I also hope that we are not scared to be ourselves and to enjoy a fun time. And I am so loving my emerging confidence in my right to exist!

Your Friend,


One thought on “Being scary

  1. Interesting. You have given me pause and deep thought – as usual Danny. You and your colleagues (Spellers) – you have a lot to teach the world. I’m inspired by you.

    Liked by 2 people

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