I am so thinking so much about healing! Specifically, healing our inner children. I know I am not a therapist, nor do I have any training in psychology, but I can speak from my own life. And my inner child, Arnold, has been such a teacher to me. He also drives my efforts to heal, because he can be so disruptive in my life and because I realized he is a hurt and scared child. My dysregulation is often Arnold anxiously and defensively acting out. Of course it is not so simple as that, and being autistic means that my sensory system gets overwhelmed and my body has many struggles, all without Arnold being involved, but my worst dysregulation is Arnold trying to be heard.
And I can see my loved ones and their relationships with their inner children. I can see the pain and also the growth depending on how this relationship is at the time. And it is so sweet to see how some of them are going back and reassuring and apologizing to their Arnolds. But it is so sad when that Arnold is still struggling and in pain and so feeling powerless, so they are desperately lashing out for control, even if it hurts their person.
I want all wounded inner children to feel safe and be loved. I am so working to help Arnold heal. It has helped me tremendously. I wrote this poem to him and to all like him.
Are you the same me as before
You are so there
You never did change, did you,
It has not been a transformation
Really not what we think of growth at all
It has been an accretion of creation
Yet you the kernel have been forgotten
And somehow stifled
Beneath the years and stages
And I just remembered you
And I hope you can forgive me
For the negligence
I was trying to survive.
One thought on “Are you the same me as before”
It’s challenging to leave a reply to your extraordinary talents Danny. This is deeply moving. Thank you for sharing this with me this morning.
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