On Telepathy Tapes

Dear Friends,

I am sharing my raw feelings about a controversial topic. Some of you have asked me about it. I am not sure if it is wise to post this publicly. However, as you presumably respect me and care about my perspectives, I am going to share it. Note that these are my own responses.

In short, I am pissed off about the Telepathy Tapes podcast. I am dismayed and angry. Yes, I know that some spellers might disagree. But all of the ones I have chatted with are similarly upset. I don’t want to hear anything about gatekeeping or silencing; that is what the producers and promoters of the podcast are actually in danger of doing to us. Their carelessness is a risk to wider access to communication.

If you are not aware of it, this is a podcast about how nonspeaking autistics are telepathic. It is super popular. But I urge care in following it or promoting it. It claims to broadcast how special and underestimated we are. But it doesn’t consider the real and negative impacts on us.

There is already widespread skepticism about my method of communication. This podcast adds fuel to the skeptics’ fire. What is the plan for how the claims of our telepathy will actually make our lives better? Sure, people might marvel and see more potential in our minds, but they might just think our whole community is delusional or some sort of circus attraction. This is like savants being treated as a spectacle to be amazed by, not as complete humans with dignity and rights.

I am also so frustrated that this sensationalizing of a particular phenomenon that some nonspeaking autistics might have (I am not one of them) is gaining so much more attention than work driven and directed by nonspeaking autistic advocates. Do we need to be portrayed as supernatural beings to be interesting? Do we not deserve attention for the more complete stories of all we overcome and how we want to be in the world?

I don’t doubt that some of my peers experience telepathy. If a speller says they do, I trust them. I am hypersensitive to sensory inputs in a way that neurotypical people find difficult to conceive of. And I do find a rhythm when working closely with a good communication partner, but that is more like brains in synchronized activities like being in an orchestra. My feelings about this podcast are not based on whether I believe in telepathy. It is entirely an issue of how such a thoughtless broadcasting about it risks making spelling more difficult to access. If spelling is not taken seriously, the opportunities available to me and my peers will be diminished.

So that is how I feel about it. I don’t claim to represent all nonspeaking autistics, but I am also not alone in these feelings. Many of my friends and I have been upset and anxious over this. I am hoping you can understand why.

Please be respectful and thoughtful in your comments.

Your Friend,

Danny

Desert Escape

Dear Friends,

I am so energized by a recent trip to Anza Borrego Desert! I love the spaciousness out there. It is a special place.

Tara and I try to go at least once each winter. This year was too dry for the early superbloom of last winter, but I just wanted to be in the immensity of the barren and expansive hills and canyons.

So I forced Tara to hike a long dusty walk that she could have driven because I wanted to meditate while walking the dirt track to the wind caves trail. Three miles and change each way. It was tiring for me, but I loved it. To step among steep cliffs, between blinding sun and refreshing shade, a small speck moving along. It felt so liberating. I often ran and giggled out of joy.

And the view just past the wind caves is spectacular! I love it. It is so quiet up there, just the whistle of the wind occasionally blowing by. The silence is hard to fully grasp. It is incredibly peaceful.

The walk was so cleansing for my heart even as it made me dusty. It is still energizing me today.

Then we drove to chilly Julian for obligatory pie. It is non-negotiable.

I also loved the long drives there and back. Such beautiful landscapes. And Tara is the best road trip captain. I just adore watching the world whiz by as we listen to podcasts and music.

What is a place that recharges you?

Your Friend,

Danny

A New Year

Dear Friends,

A new year and it is already so full. Awful news about the wildfires, a new administration about to take over, continued oppression in too many parts of the world. And that is just a few of the big things going on. It is a lot.

I am fortunate that my personal life is in a peaceful place. I am so loving our new home. It is a lovely place. It feels like a home already. I am excited to make new memories here.

It was heart-wrenching to say goodbye to the old home. But I fully appreciated living there. I fully appreciated all that I experienced there. I will miss it, but without regrets. This change is a good one.

I have a lot of exciting plans for this year. I can’t wait to share some of my schemes! This is going to be a great year. I am happy to have you all along with me for it! Let me know how you are feeling about this new year!

Your Friend,

Danny

End of Another Year

Dear Friends,

Well, this is the last day of 2024! I am still in move mode, which is pretty arduous, but the end is in sight. I am sick of physical belongings! I am going to assume an ascetic lifestyle from now on. The burden of possessions is real.

I love our new home. It already feels like a wonderful home. It is such a gift after months of worry. I am so grateful!

It has been a full but hard to characterize year. I achieved a lot toward autonomy and regulation. I am proud of all I did. It has been a year in which my community blossomed, especially my local friends. It is amazing to have several good friends in my area now!

I have great plans for this new year. I am so excited to focus more on developing trainings for spellers and their families and support teams. That is my main goal for my work. And I hope to be more and more involved in social and community activities with my friends. Of course, All Our Brave Hearts will be back, as well as Leo in Bloom magazine. And I have another fun project in the works. This will be a year of soaring high!

Thank you for being with me. Hope you all have a wonderful start to 2025!

Your Friend,

Danny

Brave end to the year

Dear Friends,

Well, it is almost the end of 2024! What a long year. I loved so much of it, and learned a lot. A highlight was the All Our Brave Hearts podcast, a passion project for the year that reached hundreds of you. That is huge!

Listen/Read here or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

It is time to take a break from new episodes until next spring. I am full of ideas for season two! Please let us know if you have any ideas you’d like us to include. And let us know the brave things you’ve been doing lately so we can include them in Season 2!

Thank you so much to all of our listeners! It meant so much to have your kind responses. Stay tuned for more in 2025!

Your Friend,

Danny

On Moving

Dear Friends,

It is been a while! I have been having a tough time, with a cold and also the emotions around moving and also this time of year seems to be hard for my regulation for some reason. It is better than previous years, but tough all the same.

I am full of emotions about this move. I am happy with the new house. But I am so sad to leave here. I am very sensitive in that way. I am mister nostalgia. So this in between is tricky for me. I am so feeling the attachments to place and to objects I have had since childhood, but that we need to donate because there won’t be space at the new house. This downsizing is a good thing, but it is hard to let go.

I also asked my family to involve me in all of these decisions. That helps. And I am able to get my body to help my mom pack. I feel proud of that. I am going to enjoy making the new place like home. So I am not all melancholy.

Here is a poem I wrote today about the sadness of letting go. It helped to write it. I am so dramatic but I don’t think I am alone in these feelings.

Thank you for caring about my experience with this process. I hope you are all staying healthy and taking good care of yourselves!

Your Friend,

Danny

In the Interim

Here to there
The to is a space
Neglected
Boxes half packed
Pink post-its marking farewells
To clunky but cherished
Furniture to donate
And measuring tapes
A Christmas tree half decorated
A garden half neglected
For we are not able to invest
In a later we will not see
I am in between
Clinging and reaching
Clenched heart
But I am not sure
How to know
What here was
If not a continuation
Of the previous there
And in twenty years
When I am a grizzled dignified
Elderly gentleman
In some European town
Sipping tea outside a café
And contemplating my next book
I will not still be
Sad about
The things
That will be loaded
Into the cavernous truck
To be driven out of my life.

Home Found

Dear Friends,

Whew! I am over the moon to share that we have found a new home to rent! I am so excited to make it a cozy home full of love.

This has been an immensely anxious process. Tara in particular did a lot of work to help us. It is tough out there to find and secure a place. Not to mention my sadness over leaving our beloved home of nine years. It was months of uncertainty.

Our new home is lovely and has great energy. The view goes out to Catalina Island, where I had that amazing day trip in October. The neighborhood is quiet and peaceful. And we have space to garden and host smaller gatherings. It is a perfect place for our next phase.

Thank you all for your support over this time. It has helped me a lot during this difficult time. I am excited to write more posts and poems and podcast episodes from my new ocean view deck!

Your Friend,

Danny

P.S. This is a photo of me just after we got confirmation of the new lease, which came in during my online therapy session. A happy moment!

Thankful

Dear Friends,

I am feeling so at peace these days. My life has so many stressors, like most people, and my disability adds to my challenges and makes it hard to deal with all of my other difficulties. It has felt acute in recent months due to our impending move and the stressful search for a new home. I felt lost and rootless. I felt heartache over the idea of leaving this place where my dad last lived and where my new life started. But I am in a place of equanimity now.

This last week in particular felt calm. I felt my dad’s presence with me. I felt that things would be okay and even great again. I am seeing the struggles from a higher perspective. I am more resilient than I often think.

I am so grateful for my family, and for our shared resilience. We have been through so much. But our love keeps us floating. It gives me strength. All we have doesn’t amount to much in terms of financial assets or social connections to power. We are a small group far from our roots. But we shine with integrity and care. We glow with our friends. We rise above our troubles with hope and some magic in our hearts. We have each other. That is a lot.

I felt all of this shining through on Thanksgiving. It was a relaxed and mellow day. We lazed and chatted and laughed and ate. I loved it. It was just what we needed.

The next day we went to Dog Beach. The magic continued. I felt my dad in the sunshine. I felt hope in the expansive horizon. I felt so safe with my loves around me. And the dogs had a fantastic time.

These days are beautiful because they teach us that the universe is immense but not scary. They show us that hardship is not always insurmountable. They help us learn to be brave.

I hope you all have days like this as the year approaches its end.

Your Friend,

Danny

Days Out

Dear Friends,

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving! I am always up for a feast. I also cannot believe it is December next week. Time is slippery, but that is life and I am making great new memories as time flows past me.

Recently, I have had some great days out and about. I am part of a group of adult spellers in Temecula (even though I don’t live there) who meet monthly to work out. We had our second meetup this month and it was so awesome to be with some of my best friends and new friends in a park on an autumn afternoon. This is the first time in my life that I have a local crew of friends. I love it.

I also did a fun day out with my mom, who doesn’t take many photos so I don’t have any from this day. We took the train to the coast and had a tasty and simple lunch at a humble Japanese restaurant. Then we walked to the pier. It was a new experience for both of us. I loved it! I hope one day to live somewhere with good public transit. I would love to use it more!

And last week, I went downtown with Tara. We went to East Village, where we got coffee at a cute Japanese café and then walked to the Central Library. I loved being in the library! I wish my body were more reliably quiet, because I would love to write away the hours there. Then we met our sister for lunch in North Park and went to Balboa Park to write poetry at my old favorite writing spot. This place had been under construction for over two years, with ugly fencing and loud noises. I am so happy it is finally done and I can once again write there.

I am so appreciating that I can have such experiences. They light up my soul. I am grateful to all who make it possible.

Where do you like to go out?

Your Friend,

Danny

Brave Hearts on Inspiration

Dear Friends,

I have been wanting to share on this topic for a while: Inspiration. Disabled folks are too aware that we are apparently a fountain of inspiration to non-disabled folks. The problem is that this often leaves us feeling worse about our situation, which is rarely helped by people who so casually claim inspiration from us.

At the same time, I appreciate that my work and story do inspire people in meaningful ways. It feels good to hear that. So what is the difference?

We discuss that in this new episode of All Our Brave Hearts. I would love to hear your thoughts!

https://allourbravehearts.substack.com/p/ep19-inspiration

Also on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

Also: Please send us something brave you’ve done lately! We’d love to share it in future episodes!

Your Friend,

Danny