Dear Friends,

I am feeling so at peace these days. My life has so many stressors, like most people, and my disability adds to my challenges and makes it hard to deal with all of my other difficulties. It has felt acute in recent months due to our impending move and the stressful search for a new home. I felt lost and rootless. I felt heartache over the idea of leaving this place where my dad last lived and where my new life started. But I am in a place of equanimity now.

This last week in particular felt calm. I felt my dad’s presence with me. I felt that things would be okay and even great again. I am seeing the struggles from a higher perspective. I am more resilient than I often think.

I am so grateful for my family, and for our shared resilience. We have been through so much. But our love keeps us floating. It gives me strength. All we have doesn’t amount to much in terms of financial assets or social connections to power. We are a small group far from our roots. But we shine with integrity and care. We glow with our friends. We rise above our troubles with hope and some magic in our hearts. We have each other. That is a lot.

I felt all of this shining through on Thanksgiving. It was a relaxed and mellow day. We lazed and chatted and laughed and ate. I loved it. It was just what we needed.

The next day we went to Dog Beach. The magic continued. I felt my dad in the sunshine. I felt hope in the expansive horizon. I felt so safe with my loves around me. And the dogs had a fantastic time.

These days are beautiful because they teach us that the universe is immense but not scary. They show us that hardship is not always insurmountable. They help us learn to be brave.

I hope you all have days like this as the year approaches its end.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving! I am always up for a feast. I also cannot believe it is December next week. Time is slippery, but that is life and I am making great new memories as time flows past me.

Recently, I have had some great days out and about. I am part of a group of adult spellers in Temecula (even though I don’t live there) who meet monthly to work out. We had our second meetup this month and it was so awesome to be with some of my best friends and new friends in a park on an autumn afternoon. This is the first time in my life that I have a local crew of friends. I love it.

I also did a fun day out with my mom, who doesn’t take many photos so I don’t have any from this day. We took the train to the coast and had a tasty and simple lunch at a humble Japanese restaurant. Then we walked to the pier. It was a new experience for both of us. I loved it! I hope one day to live somewhere with good public transit. I would love to use it more!

And last week, I went downtown with Tara. We went to East Village, where we got coffee at a cute Japanese café and then walked to the Central Library. I loved being in the library! I wish my body were more reliably quiet, because I would love to write away the hours there. Then we met our sister for lunch in North Park and went to Balboa Park to write poetry at my old favorite writing spot. This place had been under construction for over two years, with ugly fencing and loud noises. I am so happy it is finally done and I can once again write there.

I am so appreciating that I can have such experiences. They light up my soul. I am grateful to all who make it possible.

Where do you like to go out?

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I have been wanting to share on this topic for a while: Inspiration. Disabled folks are too aware that we are apparently a fountain of inspiration to non-disabled folks. The problem is that this often leaves us feeling worse about our situation, which is rarely helped by people who so casually claim inspiration from us.

At the same time, I appreciate that my work and story do inspire people in meaningful ways. It feels good to hear that. So what is the difference?

We discuss that in this new episode of All Our Brave Hearts. I would love to hear your thoughts!

https://allourbravehearts.substack.com/p/ep19-inspiration

Also on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

Also: Please send us something brave you’ve done lately! We’d love to share it in future episodes!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

It feels like autumn here in San Diego. I know people scoff at our seasons, but they are real and meaningful. The quality of light, the chilly dry mornings, the hushed ending of day. It feels calmer. Even with the holidays fast approaching, it feels more still.

I am feeling like I haven’t had much direction this year. It is hard to get a sense of it. I don’t have formal structure in my life, and these past couple of years have filled up with so many activities and goals, so it all feels a bit scattered and cluttered.

At times I feel a bit lost. I am still learning to navigate my new life. I am still limited by my disability. I am still unsure of where I will end up. My dreams are so big, and I am so constrained in what I can do, so I often feel so far from where I hope to be.

That said, I can say that I have done a lot this year. The podcast is a big thing. I wish it had a bigger and more diverse audience, but I am also in awe that hundreds of people listen. I would list off more accomplishments, but that is not the point here. I more want to focus on how I am proud of myself for even just maintaining my social media and my regular activities. That is my new baseline, and it is somehow easy for me to take it for granted these days. But really, that baseline is so much higher than I had access to five years ago. It is huge that my new routine seems so easy that I forget how monumental it seemed just a few years ago.

I think it is natural to forget such things. But it is so heartening to remember them. I am working on that.

I am so grateful to have you all to share these thoughts with. It is the season for contemplation of our harvests this year, a time to reflect on our labor and yields. I am hoping you can all find something encouraging and uplifting in this process.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Well, I guess my prayers were not enough. I am dismayed by the election results. It is so disheartening.

It is a good lesson in facing reality. I wish that more people voted thoughtfully, that more people used critical thinking and examined their biases and assumptions, that more people looked past factions and scapegoats and fictions created to manipulate. I wish that people in this wealthy nation were better cared for by their government. I wish that wealth weren’t able to influence politics so much, and that religion were actually kept separate from government.

Wishes are not reality. And so I am trying to release my clinging to wishes because longing for them and mourning the fact that they are so far from reality is asking for misery.

I wish that my disability were easier to live with. Sadness is justified in that, but what kind of life is that to live in sadness over something that is so far from reality? I allow the sadness and anger to well up sometimes, but I choose to more often recognize where I can focus my energy to make my life better.

Same with this election. Sadness and fear might be warranted, but what can be done with that? I think they can cloud our vision. I don’t begrudge anyone their process, but for me, I opt to be pragmatic. It is clear that my assumptions about how people vote and why are too reductive, because I know that this country is not so populated by the image I have of a Trump supporter. There must be more nuance and diversity of understanding and motivation than I have assumed. So I hope to learn more about this all, and to find a better way to connect across beliefs. I doubt I will ever agree with supporting Trump, but I hope to better familiarize myself with different perspectives and the people who hold them.

This is tough because I am so driven by integrity and I am staunch in my beliefs. I know many advocates see a quest to connect with those whose beliefs seem fundamentally offensive as foolish or enabling. I get it. But in my heart, I feel that connection is needed to process and move forward with the work of building a better future.

I hope you are all taking care.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

…is there something special going on today? November 5, 2024? You seem anxious.

Election Day! I have been anxious about this. I know many of you have been, too. So I wanted to share this podcast episode inspired by the strife and conflict that have saturated politics in this country.

This episode of All Our Brave Hearts podcast is on the “longing for care.” I feel that the root of so much anger and hate is the pain that people feel when they don’t get the care and support that they need. That pain can be used to motivate change, but it can also be manipulated into something more toxic. We discuss how care, anger, and politics are intertwined, and how individuals can do more to spread care in the world. Read and/or listen on Substack, or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts!

I also will come out and say: I am hoping that Trump does not win. I know some of you will not be happy with me saying this. I have tried to keep such convictions out of my advocacy when I don’t feel that they are directly related to what I advocate for. But as a disabled immigrant and someone who values true democracy and compassion and integrity, I am troubled by how many people support him. It feels relevant to share this.

Take care of yourselves as we wait to find out the results. If you have a nonspeaker in your family, make sure that you keep them in the loop, too, unless they have told you it makes them too anxious.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Wow, things have been busy lately! I am working on some exciting schemes and I also have not been sleeping well, so I am not posting as often. But I wanted to share some of my prepared answers for my interview by Tim Villegas for the Think Inclusive podcast episode that was posted in September.

These are points that need to be shared and heard and absorbed. I hope they resonate with you! The episode can be accessed here.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am glowing from the trip we took this week! We usually do one ocean activity each week, often snorkeling or stand-up paddleboarding in La Jolla. This week, though, we did a day trip to Catalina Island. I hadn’t been there since 2009, when our family took one of our few family vacations there. This was inspired by Tara doing her freediving certification there last month. She realized it could be a feasible day trip. And I have been needing a retreat, so it was perfect for that.

So we set off early in the morning. It was a smooth drive to Dana Point. The ferry ride was fantastic. I saw so many dolphins and some sea lions and loads of seabirds. I couldn’t help but yell, “Dolphins!” whenever I spotted one. It was so cool!

The day had been gray, but when we approached the island, the sun shone through. It was a gorgeous day. I couldn’t wait to get in the clear waters! We walked to Lovers’ Cove, where no one else was out. We got changed into our wetsuits and hopped in.

Wow! The water was so beautiful. It was like a wonderland. The kelp was just right there by the shore. There were so many kinds of seaweed all in different colors and shapes. And the fishes! So many just cruising around.  It was spectacular.

After that, we warmed up in the sun, then walked into Avalon town to find lunch. Then we sat on a small beach and rested. I stared into the mesmerizingly clear water and just lost myself in thought. Then we napped. I really needed it, as I have not been sleeping well. It was so revitalizing.

Then I wrote some poetry and read part of an essay. What a dream setting for creativity!

And then it was time to head back. Tara encouraged me to stand outside on the back of the boat to enjoy the fresh ocean air. I didn’t like the wind at first, but then I grew used to it and found the rushing air and water to be thrilling. I loved the movement of it all!

Then we drove home. I felt like I had been transported to a different world for a longer time than just a day trip. It was such a perfect day.

Tara did forget to bring the SD card for her Akaso camera, but did manage some shots on a very old and barely charged camera she had lying around. Someday she’ll get her underwater camera routine down. She had a lot to manage and prepare, so it is understandable. She does so much to bring joy into my life.

This was such a highlight of this year. I am grateful I could do it.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so excited to share a new goal I have for this month! It is to take the local train from near my house to the station near Tara’s apartment on my own. The start and end of this trip are both terminal stations, so it is a bit easier than trying to learn how to get off at a station in between because it won’t be so rushed. I will get a phone so my family can track me and I will practice using it for basic communication about where I am. I am so thrilled about this!

I have been craving more independence lately. It is not my main goal, but even small ways of doing things on my own are so empowering. I am almost in my forties. I am so yearning for dignity and respect as any adult deserves. I am longing to prove to myself that I can do more than most people assume.

Tara and our mom are helping me prepare and practice. I am so appreciating their sincere support, because I know they are nervous about this. They are working to be enthusiastic and optimistic while also practical. They understand how much this means to me.

When I share this goal with people, the common initial reaction is surprise and doubt. But also, that is often followed by encouragement and enthusiasm. The best are the people who don’t hesitate to affirm my goal. They say without any reservations: That is great and you can do it! I love that.

So I will be practicing these train trips this month. I am so proud to be trying this. I know I can do it!

Do you have any goals you are excited about? I would love to hear about them!

Your Friend,

Danny