Dear Friends, I am pleased to share Episode 2 of All Our Brave Hearts! This is on the labels “nonspeaking” versus “nonverbal.” It might seem like a niche topic, but it is an example of how important terminology is. Please listen to the full episode. I also sass Tara a bit, so tune in to catch that!
Thanks to those of you who have given us great feedback on Episode 1! Send us any questions for our Q & A episode. We are eager to see them!
A reminder that we are selling “nonspeaking, very verbal” t-shirts and stickers! We thought the t-shirts were a limited run, but it keeps renewing automatically, so they are still available here
Thank you for tuning in! (Check out Substack for the transcript!) Substack
Wow, I had the best night last night! Tara took me out to a dinner and show at a newly opened, renovated historic venue, Lou Lou’s Club at the Lafayette Hotel. It was gorgeous! So elegant and fun. It was a real supper club experience, with a beautifully dressed crowd, delicious food, and fantastic music! The murmur of the crowd was perfectly loud for me; it made my stimming inconspicuous and it was a pleasant sensory input. The table we reserved was great, right on the edge of the lower dance floor, so our view of stage was uninterrupted.
I absolutely loved the ambiance! I could feel the history of the place. They did a fabulous job designing the room. I could have sat there and admired it even without music. The people-watching was so much fun, too.
The music by Whitney Shay and her band literally made me dance! I tried to stay in my seat because I didn’t want to risk getting too amped up and galloping around in a crowded space. But my feet started tapping and then stomping. Tara kept reassuring me that I could get up and go to the dancing area in front of the stage. But I was shy. Finally, my body did just that, and it was so much fun! Wow! The crowd on the dance floor welcomed me. I felt so enthralled by being part of it.
I did this a few times. The singer even sang to me briefly when she saw me on the dance floor! I felt so accepted.
This was my first party night out late. And I had been nervous to be out with crowds who are likely ignorant of my diagnosis and my reality. I have had negative experiences with ignorant folks in public before. But last night was perfect. I loved it so much!
Tara was so watchful and mindful, as always, checking in with me regularly to see how I was feeling. I knew she would be there if anything went wrong. That helped me relax.
Don’t we look sharp? Tara is so stylish and her outfit was perfect. I chose a new combination and I think it looked sharp. I was so proud to be out with my beautiful sister!
That was a memory I will always cherish. I hope to go back for some future special occasions. We nonspeakers and other disabled folks deserve to enjoy experiences like this. I hope such spaces become more accessible. How amazing it would be to have a more diverse crowd enjoying these nights!
I am so thrilled to share our first full episode! All Our Brave Hearts is my passion project for this year. I love how this episode turned out!
The topic is interdependence. This is so important in envisioning a better world for disabled people and everyone, really. It is the foundation of this podcast.
Please listen, share, and like and comment. This will be worth your time!
Wow, I am so excited to share the introductory episode of our new podcast, All Our Brave Hearts! I am so proud of this project. It is a podcast about interdependence and about how we can shape a better world together. Tara is my co-host. It is about my disability and my family’s experiences as my support team, but it is also a call to rethink how we value people.
I hope you join us on Substack or Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Please share widely! We aim to reach people of diverse backgrounds, including those who don’t have experience with disability. That is important, to show those people a new perspective that they haven’t seen.
And send us questions for our monthly Question and Answer episodes! Comment here or DM or contact me via my website.
So exciting! Thank you for being part of my inspiration to do this.
I finally have put together a complete professional outfit! New shoes and a new shirt brought it all together. It is a bit wrinkled in the photo, but Tara will steam it for me.
I am a stylish guy in my heart, even though I don’t often show it. I love a sharp outfit. I didn’t have a way to choose my own clothes until spelling. Even now, I try to not spend much money, so I don’t often buy clothes. But I ask for nice clothes as gifts. And my mom and sisters have good taste.
I am so proud of how I look in this outfit. I am so driven to be seen as a real adult, and one to be taken seriously. And of course appearances shouldn’t matter, but my personal feeling is that I feel more confident in a nice outfit.
I was so excited to try it all on! I was giggling and dancing around. I ran up to my mom and spelled, “Did you ever think I could be professional?” I am so delighted.
And now I am extra ready to be a public speaker! I hope you all are having a great start to the week. And I am wondering what you think about style!
Happy February! It is a rainy day here in San Diego. I am cozy in a coffeeshop with Tara. It is crowded here with people working or trying to work but trapped on social media or chatting away. I love this kind of bustle. I feel like I am part of something when I am surrounded by it. It is so comforting.
We are fortunate that we can do this and that our homes are safely on high ground. Many of our fellow San Diegans lost their homes in the last rainstorm last week. It is not surprising that it was the more poor neighborhoods that suffered. They are regularly neglected by those in power. Canals were left obstructed despite these neighborhoods’ requests that they be cleared years ago. And now these folks are going to face eviction as their homes are damaged and landlords take this opportunity to renovate and charge higher rents. It is awful.
I think we need to care beyond ourselves. It is a necessity for a fair and truly prosperous society. This includes allowing uncomfortable feelings in our minds without trying to find an excuse to ignore them. It is easy to focus on self-preservation. But I find that those who don’t have much are among the most compassionate people I know. You don’t have to treat caring about others as a luxury.
I think of this a lot.
I wish you all a great month ahead. It is Imbolg today, the Gaelic first day of spring. It is also almost Setsubun, a Japanese new year and spring celebration. And Lunar New Year is almost here, too! The year is still unfurling. I am so feeling that time goes so quickly. But such celebrations show that time can be grasped by appreciating the unfurling. It is a nice way to ground ourselves.
Take care! It is a new month and a chance to appreciate where you are. I am so glad you are all with me.
Today I have an unpleasant task: I need to go to the USCIS (US Citizenship & Immigration Services) office. Ugh. It is all because of a mistake they made, which has caused me months of stress and really added to my sister’s stress too. They are a remarkably inefficient and incompetent agency. Unless of course they are making things more difficult for immigrants, in which case they are very effective!
This immigrant stress was part of my childhood. Finally, we got through the maze of confusing policy changes and dishonest immigration lawyers and I became a permanent resident in the early 2000s. I thought I was done with USCIS headaches. But they somehow managed to mess up my green card renewal. It has taken two and a quarter years!
Luckily, a friend of Tara’s recommended we contact my congressional representative’s office to help. So she tried, and they were remarkably helpful. What was estimated by USCIS to take at least another six months took one month after the representative’s office helped me. So, FYI, in case you need help with a federal agency, try your representative!
We don’t even know if we actually need to go today or if it was another annoying mistake by USCIS. It is impossible to contact them to ask in any reasonable timeframe. So I am not thrilled about this at all!
Update: It turns out I didn’t need it. Glad I spent the time to go to the office and wait. At least it is all sorted for now!
It might seem surprising that this is something on my mind. I think many people don’t realize that disabled folks have a lot of logistics to deal with, and that is on top of the same logistics that most other people have to handle. It is an extra hassle because I can’t do these things on my own. Each little appointment requires a support person. I know I am whining, but I am grumpy!
That is it for today. I wish things were easier. But I am grateful my team can help me. Hope you all have a wonderful day with no annoyances!
I am wanting to do a quick post about my mom. You don’t hear that much about her, because she is a bit shy and she does the kind of background support that is so important but so routine. She is not the kind to care much about public recognition. But I want more people to recognize how amazing she is!
She is my main protector and nurturer. She gives up so much of herself to care for me. She dives into anything she thinks will help me. She always has taken care of me.
I am so proud and happy that we are fluent now! It is so wonderful to be able to communicate directly with her. It is so meaningful.
She isn’t perfect and she makes mistakes. It can be hard to navigate our old habits and relationship with this new relationship that communication allows us to have now. But we are both learning, and she always is trying. That is so important.
Tara is more visible online because she is the one who helps me expand my world in this new chapter. But my mom is the one who sustains me at home. It is good in a way that my sister is the one who helps with my public work, so it is about me and not about a parent’s journey. There are already accounts for that kind of narrative. So that is one reason I don’t highlight my mom more. But she deserves to be known for all she does.
I am so overwhelmed with appreciation for your support of the shirts! Wow. I am so grateful!
I realize that this is another post about selling things. But I just realized that Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. So I need to start getting these cards out!
These are the same designs offered as last year. Geez, the “I’m Under Your Spell” and “You’re Just My Type” were so popular! So we ordered a bunch. You can also order any of my other cards. The ones that seem most related to love have been grouped together under the “Valentine’s Day” category on my store.
You can order them here! It takes us usually 1-3 days to get them out to the post office, so please plan as needed.
I so appreciate you being with me, and please know there is no pressure to buy anything. If what I sell is something that you like and are able to purchase, I am thrilled! But I am also thrilled to have you in my community.
Danny With Words 