Dear Friends,

Happy February! It is a rainy day here in San Diego. I am cozy in a coffeeshop with Tara. It is crowded here with people working or trying to work but trapped on social media or chatting away. I love this kind of bustle. I feel like I am part of something when I am surrounded by it. It is so comforting.

We are fortunate that we can do this and that our homes are safely on high ground. Many of our fellow San Diegans lost their homes in the last rainstorm last week. It is not surprising that it was the more poor neighborhoods that suffered. They are regularly neglected by those in power. Canals were left obstructed despite these neighborhoods’ requests that they be cleared years ago. And now these folks are going to face eviction as their homes are damaged and landlords take this opportunity to renovate and charge higher rents. It is awful.

I think we need to care beyond ourselves. It is a necessity for a fair and truly prosperous society. This includes allowing uncomfortable feelings in our minds without trying to find an excuse to ignore them. It is easy to focus on self-preservation. But I find that those who don’t have much are among the most compassionate people I know. You don’t have to treat caring about others as a luxury.

I think of this a lot.

I wish you all a great month ahead. It is Imbolg today, the Gaelic first day of spring. It is also almost Setsubun, a Japanese new year and spring celebration. And Lunar New Year is almost here, too! The year is still unfurling. I am so feeling that time goes so quickly. But such celebrations show that time can be grasped by appreciating the unfurling. It is a nice way to ground ourselves.

Take care! It is a new month and a chance to appreciate where you are. I am so glad you are all with me.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

Today I have an unpleasant task: I need to go to the USCIS (US Citizenship & Immigration Services) office. Ugh. It is all because of a mistake they made, which has caused me months of stress and really added to my sister’s stress too. They are a remarkably inefficient and incompetent agency. Unless of course they are making things more difficult for immigrants, in which case they are very effective!

This immigrant stress was part of my childhood. Finally, we got through the maze of confusing policy changes and dishonest immigration lawyers and I became a permanent resident in the early 2000s. I thought I was done with USCIS headaches. But they somehow managed to mess up my green card renewal. It has taken two and a quarter years!

Luckily, a friend of Tara’s recommended we contact my congressional representative’s office to help. So she tried, and they were remarkably helpful. What was estimated by USCIS to take at least another six months  took one month after the representative’s office helped me. So, FYI, in case you need help with a federal agency, try your representative!

We don’t even know if we actually need to go today or if it was another annoying mistake by USCIS. It is impossible to contact them to ask in any reasonable timeframe. So I am not thrilled about this at all!

Update: It turns out I didn’t need it. Glad I spent the time to go to the office and wait. At least it is all sorted for now!

It might seem surprising that this is something on my mind. I think many people don’t realize that disabled folks have a lot of logistics to deal with, and that is on top of the same logistics that most other people have to handle. It is an extra hassle because I can’t do these things on my own. Each little appointment requires a support person. I know I am whining, but I am grumpy!

That is it for today. I wish things were easier. But I am grateful my team can help me. Hope you all have a wonderful day with no annoyances!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am wanting to do a quick post about my mom. You don’t hear that much about her, because she is a bit shy and she does the kind of background support that is so important but so routine. She is not the kind to care much about public recognition. But I want more people to recognize how amazing she is!

She is my main protector and nurturer. She gives up so much of herself to care for me. She dives into anything she thinks will help me. She always has taken care of me.

I am so proud and happy that we are fluent now! It is so wonderful to be able to communicate directly with her. It is so meaningful.

She isn’t perfect and she makes mistakes. It can be hard to navigate our old habits and relationship with this new relationship that communication allows us to have now. But we are both learning, and she always is trying. That is so important.

Tara is more visible online because she is the one who helps me expand my world in this new chapter. But my mom is the one who sustains me at home. It is good in a way that my sister is the one who helps with my public work, so it is about me and not about a parent’s journey. There are already accounts for that kind of narrative. So that is one reason I don’t highlight my mom more. But she deserves to be known for all she does.

Thank you, Mama! You are my rock.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am so overwhelmed with appreciation for your support of the shirts! Wow. I am so grateful!

I realize that this is another post about selling things. But I just realized that Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. So I need to start getting these cards out!

These are the same designs offered as last year. Geez, the “I’m Under Your Spell” and “You’re Just My Type” were so popular! So we ordered a bunch. You can also order any of my other cards. The ones that seem most related to love have been grouped together under the “Valentine’s Day” category on my store.

You can order them here! It takes us usually 1-3 days to get them out to the post office, so please plan as needed.

I so appreciate you being with me, and please know there is no pressure to buy anything. If what I sell is something that you like and are able to purchase, I am thrilled! But I am also thrilled to have you in my community.

Thank you, friends!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am glad to share that we finally have “Nonspeaking, Very Verbal” shirts to sell! We decided to try Bonfire. It is our first Bonfire campaign, so please let us know how we can improve if needed.

I am so excited to get one myself! I look forward to seeing folks wearing theirs.

You can order through January 29, with estimated delivery by February 16. We will likely do more rounds if this seems popular.

I so appreciate any orders! My financial autonomy is a major goal for this year. I am proud to share this product with you.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am finally feeling stable these days. I still have flare-ups of dysregulation, but it is manageable. I actually feel so optimistic! It is a good way to feel after weeks of turmoil.

I have some exciting projects and goals. I am so feeling motivated and energized by them. I think you will really love some of these ideas! But I am needing to do more scheming before any more specific announcements. The suspense!

My support team keeps getting stronger. They are so working to ensure that my needs and goals are supported while trying to avoid burnout. They are my all-so-loving angels. I wish it were easier.

My goals are ambitious. I am such a big dreamer. Sometimes, it is scary to dream. When my life felt hopeless, dreams were an act of distraction from my suffering. There was nothing to be lost by dreaming because those dreams had no hope attached to them. Now, I can hope. I can try. But that means I can fail. That is very hard to accept. I am not used to having the space to truly try and to risk failure. All that is still new to me.

Maybe that fuels my anxiety these days. I think it is an important thing to acknowledge. I am trying to be brave and resilient in a way that is new to me. It is hard!

I will try to learn that failure is a part of the process. It is a lot to learn! I am so lucky that my support team is able to help me dare to dream things that I actually hope to do. Not every nonspeaker has that.

I hope you are also daring to dream and that your hearts are brave in the face of failure. This will be an exciting year!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

I am feeling more like myself these days. There is still a lot of energy to wrangle, but I am coping.

I want to ask if there are any women spellers who would be interested and able to contribute a piece to Leo in Bloom magazine for our February issue. Our theme is looking forward, gazing back.

We have an all-male lineup at the moment. This is not cool! I am not wanting to ask my usual list of awesome woman speller friends, because they all tend to be busy and have already contributed to other issues. I am wanting to feature new female voices!

Please send me a message if you know a possible contributor.

I am so needing to learn more about different gender identities, though I know enough to realize that this strict binary of “male and female writers” is not inclusive enough. I appreciate your patience with me as I learn. Of course, we welcome contributions from nonbinary individuals. I am interested to learn more about the perspectives of all!

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,
I am so grateful to have a wonderful community. You are all so kind and I feel your friendship. In the interest of keeping this an oasis of kindness online, I am establishing some boundaries (this is mainly for Facebook and Instagram):

1. This is not a platform for discussing the validity of my communication method. There are many resources available for those with questions about how Spelling to Communicate (S2C) and similar methods work. I don’t have energy to answer such questions repeatedly.
2. For those who want to defend my communication, I appreciate your impulse, but please refrain from throwing Facilitated Communication under the bus. Unfortunately, FC has been misused, but it is still valid when done correctly. I have several friends who use it.
3. No arguing or rudeness in the comments. Disagreeing is fine, but politely.
4. I have my own political convictions. I choose not to share them here, even if they are important to me. This is not out of apathy or cowardice, but because this is not the place for that. I appreciate you doing the same.
5. I am happy to answer what questions I have energy for, if asked in good faith. I will not dignify skeptics in sheep’s clothing with my energy. Again, I and many others have already spent time and effort answering questions on our communication. Don’t be afraid to ask if you are genuinely trying to learn, but I can’t guarantee an answer here.

Thank you for respecting these guidelines! I am only responding to a few incidences of skeptics infiltrating this beautiful community, so don’t worry – I am not fielding hordes of disrespectful comments and questions. You are all mostly fantastic! Thank you for being here with me.

Your Friend,
Danny

Dear Friends,

Happy New Year! Wow, I am excited to meet 2024. I hope it is a kind one.

One big goal I have is to become a hired public speaker. I know, a bit counterintuitive for a nonspeaker! But great public speakers who are nonspeaking are already out there. They are making things happen. And I want to be one, too.

I have already had some gigs. And I loved them! I am so a public persona. I want to reach many and share my ideas and care. I am such a Leo!

I went through the Self-Advocates Speakers Bureau training with Disability Voices United recently. That improved my confidence that I can do this!

So this is me publicly making a commitment to this goal. I am particularly interested in audiences that work with disabled people but might not yet be mindful allies, and audiences that know very little about disability. Of course I also love speaking to families of nonspeakers!

If you have ideas or connections that might help, please share! I am determined to get my ideas out farther this year. And I also am determined to earn money this year. This is a big dream for me!

I am also trying to be more vulnerable about sharing my hopes and dreams. This is my year to hustle!

Thank you all for being such a supportive community. I am so lucky to know you! May our goals be achieved this year.

Your Friend,

Danny

Dear Friends,

A year closing, another emerging. It has been a tumultuous ending to this year. But I am able to appreciate where I am. It has been a full year! I am so proud of another year of growth and advocacy. And a year of visiting family, to the west and east, with all sorts of new beautiful memories with them. A year of selling my first poetry chapbook and starting my online store. A year with friends online and in person. A year of reaching open communication with my mom. A year of fun outings with my sisters. A year of so much restlessness and a community to support me through it. And what more could a year really hold beyond all that love and struggle and striving and joy?

I felt so much this year. I lost loved ones. I lost peers. I lost hope at times. And my brave heart still persisted.

I am so full of dreams for the years ahead. And I am sure I will fail to realize many of them. But I can’t allow pessimism to arise. I am an inherent optimist, like my dad was. I am going to keep changing the world. I am going to keep trying to go out on adventures and enjoy being out and about. I am going to find ways to help my body cope better. I am going to make more friends and grow closer to old ones. I am going to learn more and more that I am worthy of friends. I am going to play in the ocean with more confidence. I am going to write and move people with my words. I am going to find a way to be more at peace.

Thank you for being with me. All of you help me feel that I am worthwhile. I know I should not need external validation, but I think most of us need it as a step toward learning it for ourselves. I am so feeling that we are a beautiful community, and I look forward to sharing 2024 with you. Happy New Year!

Your Friend,

Danny