Man’s Best Friends

Dear Friends,

I am getting in the holiday spirit! We have a nice small tree, plus two big scraggly potted pines out front, and all three are decorated. I love it. This house is too small for a big tree inside, but I love our small tree.

In less cheery news, something is wrong with our little dog Hana. She is almost 14 years old, but had been doing pretty well apart from slowing down a bit. But lately, she has been having a tough time breathing at times, and has started trembling in fits. We will bring her to the vet in two days. She can still eat and wag her tail and go around the house, but any exertion apparently triggers her breathing problem.

I am so worried. She is so precious to me. I adore her like a little sister. She has such a special spark, and is so attuned to us humans. She is truly a special being. I am so sad to see her in discomfort. This is so hard.

I had already been feeling sadness for our bigger dog Houdini. He is almost 16 years old, and it is clear that this will be his last Christmas. He is losing muscle, becoming more incontinent, and can’t go for walks anymore. But he has an indomitable spirit of goofy joy. He now wears grippy socks and a plaid sweater, and looks very much like an old man. He is hanging on and I am surprised at how he keeps going.

I don’t feel as much adoration for him, as he is kind of annoying and so full of energy that it stresses me out a bit. But I love him! He won me over with his happy-go-lucky spirit. And he is pretty sweet, even if he tramples things and knocks things over regularly.

I was never able to express my love for the family dogs before spelling. My body language could only show my discomfort with the sensory overload that dogs tend to be. But I always loved them. That was so painful to not be able to express, because my family assumed that I didn’t like them. So I was misunderstood in a way that led to me not being included in caring for the dogs.

With our two current dogs, though, I have become one of the main caretakers. I feed them and used to walk Houdini. I pick up their poop from the garden. I am proud of all this. I am so able to express care this way, even if I can’t handle snuggling them.

I am so hoping to have more quality time with them. It is an honor to tend to them in their final days. I am so lucky to have had so many years with them.

That was a sad post. I hope I didn’t get you too down. It is just what is on my mind. Thank you for reading.

Your Friend,

Danny

(photo from 2022)