Dear Friends,
Well, bad news. I broke my right arm very badly. It hurts so much! Wow. I will have surgery on Saturday. It seems so far away.
Fortunately, I am able to spell with my left hand. A newfound skill that I hadn’t know I had, but I am sure glad I do. What a relief that I can communicate among this mess.
All this happened because I was dysregulated. I was sprinting around the parking lot of my day program and I tripped and landed on the curb. I passed out from the pain. My aide and the day program called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital. My family met me there. I felt so ashamed that my dysregulation created this mess. And I was in so much pain.
It was 10 hours in the ER. They gave me strong pain meds so I could sleep. They also had to sedate me to put on the splint. What a process.
Then I had to go and take off the splint at 4am. I was so in turmoil as my compulsive body tore it off even as I tried to stop myself. Tara woke up and realized what I had done, and we all went back to the ER. I felt so awful for putting my mom and Tara through this. I was filled with self-loathing and pain as we waited hours to be seen. How awful.
That was this morning. I am miserable and uncomfortable, but learning how to adapt. My mom sewed my splint bandage shut and Tara loosely wrapped tape around the edge to try to prevent a repeat performance. My friend Austin came by for a spelling session with Tara, and wrote me a lovely poem of commiseration. He totally gets that my self-loathing over my apraxia is so strong as I process what happened, on top of the pain. That helped my spirits.
I am so in need of your good energy in this tough time. I am so down and sad that this happened, and the pain is hard to bear. Spelling this helps me not focus on it, but I am too exhausted to keep spelling now.
Your Friend,
Danny
[note from Tara: he instructed me to share these photos, so these are all posted with his permission]
Danny With Words 
Hi Danny,Sorry to hear about your arm. Please be kind to yourself. You tried. Glad you still can spell. I keep up with your emails and I just wanted you to know th
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Thank you, Dolly! I appreciate you
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Oh no- sorry to hear this! May the surgery go smoothly and you heal well.
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Dear Danny,
I am so grateful that you are alive. I am so grateful that your right arm is getting the care it requires and that you are allowing your body to heal. I am so grateful that your head stayed safe when you fell. I am so grateful that you are sharing your journey with all of us.
When I broke my right elbow a few years ago I noticed that when I would meet people they would automatically tell me about their experience with a broken bone. I wonder if this is happening to you too. One thing that I did that really helped me with the pain was to focus on my left arm anytime my right arm started to hurt. I would concentrate on how well my left arm was working, kind of like you spelling with your left hand, and it didn’t take the pain away but I didn’t notice the pain in my right arm as much. Sometimes I’d go even further and think about all the body parts that were feeling terrific.
Please let us know if there is anything we can send you that would help your recovery. I am sending huge thanks to your mom and Tara for taking such good care of you. I am sending you healing, calm thoughts! I imagine you will have so much material to write about once you are through this experience. Sending you huge healing energy! Kari
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Thank you, Kari! I always love your comments. The poem from Joel was so moving and helped me in the early days of this injury. I am glad to know you both!
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Ouch, that is painful! I hope that your recovery goes well and that you feel better soon.
Best,
Rachel
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