On Independence and Resilience

Dear Friends,

I want to share so much today, but for now I will post on the ideas of independence and resilience. I think many of us with autism and apraxia feel that these are far-off if not impossible ideals. After all, we rely on outside help to do so much. And our bodies and minds seem to go haywire in ways we can’t explain or understand. We focus more on the notions of autonomy and interdependence, which are so important to our well-being and frankly to a vision of a better world.

But Tara said something today that resonates with me. She acknowledged that I have had to do so much on my own. Much of my early life, especially, I was alone in sorting out my realizations that I was different and disabled. Despite having a loving and supportive family, no one coached me through what I was experiencing internally and couldn’t express. No one helped me digest and accept each new realization of how constrained and hopeless my life was. And I have been the only one to know what I was really going through.

And it was so bleak most of the time. But I managed to cope. And I found ways to be resilient, on my own. We nonspeakers are so strong and so resilient, and we keep trying and hoping and living through the immense challenges we face. Each thing we struggle with is not a weakness only, but also a profound strength. And much of that struggle, we cope with internally on our own.

Yes, a strong support system is vital to our well-being. But we should be aware and proud of how much we manage totally on our own. We are independent and resilient in many important ways. I am in awe of all of us.

Your Friend,

Danny