Heart in Pain

Dear Friends,

Oh my goodness, my grief is so overwhelming. How to get through this? I know it will get easier with time, and I have been through immense grief before, but in this moment, it feel so very heavy.

Thank you for your kind words of comfort. It has helped.

My dysregulation has been so intense. It is so awful to cause distress to my family as they grieve.

I am reflecting on how the dogs filled our lives with love. They loved me without any conditions. Even though I scared them with my dysregulation, they would still come to me in calmer times. They adored me. They made me feel lovable.

This is all too rare in my life. I have so much love from my family and friends. But society in general makes me feel undeserving of love. The love from Hana and Houdini was such a needed comfort in my life.

I am struggling to express this in a way that does it justice. It is hard to spell today. My loops and unreliable speech keep taking over. So that is stressful, too. It is a difficult time.

But it does help to express what I can. Thank you for being here with me.

Your Friend,

Danny