Stormy

Dear Friends,

I am in a pit of dysregulation. This is so discouraging. This is so disappointing. I am trying so hard to regulate myself, but it just keeps surging. This is awful.

This past week or so has been so intense. My mom is so trying her best, but I keep spiraling. It has been so tough for her.

This is so disruptive to my quality of life.

I must remember that I have made great progress in my regulation overall. The moments of despair obscure such perspective. I cannot let despair about my despair drag me down further.

The past weeks have had some great things happen. I voted for the first time. It felt so momentous. And I also started playing tennis again with my mom after years of not playing. The speller study group finished our poetry course, the first of many topics we hope to cover.

The bad times seem so bleak, so I try to recall the positive times. It is hard to do! But it helps.

I am full of energy that I can’t manage. There is a lot of anger and anxiety and fear. The energy overwhelms me. This is something I might spend the rest of my life trying to deal with. That is daunting.

This is part of my journey.

Thank you for being in my community. This disability is so cruel. But humanity can come together to support those of us who are affected by it.

Your Friend,

Danny