Dear Friends,
Well, after another wonderful Motormorphosis, I had another panic attack on the plane home. It was so unexpected. It was disappointing. It was so scary, too. But it was also a good experience to go through, because I handled it much better this time. My support team responded more confidently this time and helped ground me right away.
So I was able to calm down more quickly and felt a lot less shame than last time. It helped to have more tools in our toolbox than two years ago, like more experience coaching my body and knowing that intellectually stimulating podcasts help get me back into the thinking part of my brain. Plus Tara was more calm because she had seen this happen once before. That helped my mom be calm, too! Plus my mom has learned a lot about co-regulation in recent months.
This was still disheartening. Tara had been very mindful about ensuring my regulation as we boarded. Yet it still happened. It came out of nowhere. I need to process that.
I think I need to accept this as a possibility in all my future flights. I had hoped it would just be a one-time fluke. So that is a letdown.
But Tara and my mom could help me quickly. So that makes me less afraid of future episodes.
The crew and other passengers were surprisingly chill about it. That helped a lot, too.
Oh well. We keep learning and adapting. That is how this disability is.
I still cherish this Motormorphosis experience! I am proud I am more resilient than two years ago.
Your Friend,
Danny
Danny With Words 